Ten Commandments for Readers

Ten Commandments For Readers by Denise Dietz

1] Thou shalt not skip to the end of the book, unless thou do not plan to
read the middle.

2] Thou shalt not skip the Prologue (some author worked dang hard on it,
even if it turns out to be superfluous).

3] Thou shalt not slap thy forehead with the heel of thy hand when thou
cometh across the umpteenth "that" for "who." And throwing the book at the
wall is psychologically satisfying but physically damaging, especially to
the wall.

4] Thou shalt not send thy favourite author a chastisement email, saying
that Tony Curtis was born in the Bronx, not Brooklyn. I knoweth he was born
in the Bronx, okay? It was a goof, okay? And a throw-away line ("He looked
like Brooklyn's own Tony Curtis"). Deal with it, okay?

5] Thou shalt not apologize for using the library, rather than buying
STRANGLE A LOAF OF OTALIAN BREAD. Repeat after me: "Libraries are good.
Librarians are fun people. Libraries *buy* books. Authors get royalties on
those books."

6] Thou shalt talk about books, especially on 4MA, in a thoughtful, *honest*
manner. Negative reviews might momentarily hurt, but they are very helpful
to an author (as long as the negativism doesn't include Tony Curtis's birth
borough).

7] Thou shalt try not to cringe too loudly when thou recommendeth a book to
a co-worker and he says, "I don't have time to read," then discusses the
latest episode of "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader" around the water
cooler.

8] Thou shalt not let thy dinner burn while engrossed in THE RABBIT FACTORY
by Marshall Karp or BABY SHARK by Robert Fate. However, it's okay to let
dust bunnies play soccer in your living room whilst thinking: No animals
were hurt in the writing (and reading) of this book.

9] Thou shalt not scream "Noooooo!" in a crowded movie theatre when "they"
(producer? director? scriptwriter? Clint Eastwood?) change your favourite
book into something that is not only dumbed down but makes no sense
whatsoever.

10] Finally, keep reading. Please! Without thou, I would undoubtedly have to
go back to waiting tables.

[In case thou couldn't tell, the above was written for thy amusement.]
****I stole this from John Sumner from my readers group, who stole it from someone else. I thought this was funny*******